By Cde Nhamo Taneta

The 2030 Agenda is proving to be a magic bullet for unresolved national policy and development issues, at least according to the Second Republic.

Thanks to President Emmerson Mnangagwa’s insatiable appetite for power, he has suddenly and conveniently remembered that Zimbabwe has a youth population that apparently now requires empowerment.

Let’s be honest—being power-hungry does have its benefits.

After eight years in office, Mnangagwa has miraculously and conveniently recalled the existence of young people.

To mark this moment of enlightenment, he launched the Presidential Youth Empowerment Fund last week at the Harare International Conference Centre (HICC).

Just weeks earlier, the same Mnangagwa had yet another astonishing memory breakthrough—this time, remembering that his wartime comrades still exist and need financial cushioning.

Naturally, this realization led to the launch of the Presidential War Veterans Fund.

These days, everything seems to require the “Presidential” seal of approval.

From the Presidential War Veterans Fund to the Presidential Borehole Drilling Scheme, the Presidential Inputs Scheme, and now the Presidential Youth Empowerment Fund, the list is growing at an alarming rate.

At this pace, Zimbabweans should brace for more grand initiatives: the Presidential Women’s Empowerment Fund, the Presidential Makokoza Fund, the Presidential Vendors Fund, and—who knows?—maybe even the Presidential Unemployed Journalists Fund, just in case the media industry needs a bailout.

Well, of course, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

We’ve seen this script before. It’s never about the masses but power struggles within Zanu PF.

We True Patriots recall the infamous 2017 Interface Rallies.

Who can forget Dr. Stop-It’s Mapostori rallies at Rufaro Stadium and White City Stadium?

In fact, if there’s anyone outpacing former First Lady Grace Mugabe in the grand art of cash-splashing and bussing people to “empowerment rallies,” it’s Mnangagwa.

He must constantly remind the world that he is still adored by the youth and, apparently, by every other group in Zimbabwe.

Going forward, we should expect more praise-and-worship gatherings, much like the recent HICC spectacle.

After all, Mnangagwa must prove that Zimbabweans are “forcing him to stay in power against his will”.