By Cde Honest Vhura Hombe

Well, well, well… look who’s decided to step out of the shadows and into the warm, golden glow of Zanu PF’s power circle! Kudakwashe Tagwirei—businessman, sanctions magnet, and alleged economic saboteur—has officially secured himself a seat in the party’s 300-member central committee.

If history has taught us anything, this is just the first step before he casually strolls into State House with a briefcase full of cash and a winning smile.

For years, Tagwirei played the role of the “quiet benefactor,” lurking in the background like a Bond villain who prefers counting money over monologuing.

With President Emmerson Mnangagwa’s final term ticking away, the man has decided it’s time to “erupt” right into the middle of Zanu PF’s presidential succession race.

Tagwirei’s sudden political ambition has sent shockwaves through Zanu PF’s ranks—mostly because nobody expected a man best known for dodgy fuel deals and sanctions to suddenly become a “people’s candidate.”

Hey, in Zimbabwean politics, stranger things have happened—like that time a whole president was toppled by a coup and then replaced by… well, you know.

The man has been busy, though. First, he “generously” gifted cars to Zanu PF’s Harare leadership.

Then, he pledged to bankroll new party offices, well because he has the funds to do so.

Of course, not everyone is thrilled about Tagwirei’s sudden rise.

Vice President Constantino Chiwenga—the man who literally helped install Mnangagwa via a military coup—was supposed to be the natural successor.

Alas, politics is a fickle beast, and Mnangagwa reportedly fears Chiwenga might “clean house” a little too thoroughly if he takes over.

Of course, by “clean house,” we mean “stop the looting”—which, as we all know, is simply unacceptable in these circles.

Then there’s Defence Forces commander Phillip Valerio Sibanda, who some say could be a “dark horse” candidate.

Comrades, let’s be real—when your competition is a billionaire with a habit of throwing money at problems, being a “reluctant candidate” isn’t exactly a winning strategy.

Rumor has it that Auxillia Mnangagwa is Team Tagwirei all the way.

True Patriots, if the First Lady is backing you, you’re already halfway to the throne.

Meanwhile, Mnangagwa himself has reportedly been whispering in Tagwirei’s ear, urging him to go out and charm the party branches.

Tagwirei is now touring all 10 provinces as chairman of the “Land Tenure Implementation Committee”—a fancy title for “guy who’s definitely not campaigning but somehow showing up everywhere with donations.”

His next stop? Bulawayo, where he’ll no doubt be greeted with cheers—or at least a well-rehearsed round of applause from party loyalists.

Will he actually run for president? Who knows! But one thing’s for sure—if money talks in Zanu PF, Tagwirei is about to give the speech of his life.