By Cde Bekezela Mkonto kaMthwakazi
Kudakwashe “Mr Fuel and Favour” Tagwirei has finally decided that being Zimbabwe’s unofficial wallet wasn’t enough—he now wants to be its political marriage counsellor too.
After years of bankrolling everything from command agriculture to luxury SUVs for the chosen few, the controversial tycoon has officially leapt from kingmaker to king-wannabe, parachuting into the Zanu PF Harare province circus as the self-appointed apostle of unity.
Yes, you heard right. The man whose name is whispered in fuel queues and sanctions lists now wants to unite Zanu PF’s faction-torn Harare province.
Because when you think “peaceful mediator,” you definitely think of someone who shows up with a convoy of Prados and a spreadsheet of who owes him what.
Recently baptised into the party’s Central Committee—because nothing says “grassroots mobiliser” like a billionaire with ties to every tender under the sun—Tagwirei wasted no time flexing his influence.
His first move was rolling up to Zanu PF Harare headquarters with a truckload of cars like Santa Claus, if Santa only delivered to party chefs.
The Top 6 leadership smiled like kids on Christmas morning.
True Patriots don’t worry more cars are on the way for DCC chairpersons, commissars, and probably their dogs too.
After all nothing heals political wounds like a 4×4 and a full tank, courtesy of Uncle Kuda.
Tagwirei is also playing therapist, allegedly holding “private discussions” with Harare provincial chairperson Godwills Masimirembwa, who, by the way, seems to think “unity” means transferring bars and properties from rivals to his BFFs.
Just ask ZANU PF Harare province youth chairperson Emmanuel Mahatshi, whose leased Vito Bar was reportedly snatched faster than a ZUPCO kombi in peak traffic, allegedly handed over to one Blessed “JB” Kazembe—a businessman whose blessing clearly lies in the company he keeps.
Meanwhile, former MP Shadreck Mashayamombe has been in and out of disciplinary limbo like a badly written soap opera character.
Suspended, unsuspended, and possibly about to be spiritually cleansed depending on which Politburo faction sneezes first.
Naturally, Tagwirei’s move has rattled the cage.
While some cadres praise him for “healing divisions,” others are side-eyeing his sudden love for party structures like a hyena offering hugs at a goat convention.
“He’s recalibrating loyalties,” whispered one nervous insider. Translation: He’s buying the whole province, one car key at a time.
Word on the street is he wants Mashayamombe back in play, not because he loves his politics, but because every kingdom needs its loyal knight—and no one mobilises better than a sidelined comrade looking for revenge.
To his credit, Tagwirei is planning a big kumbaya meeting with Central Committee and Politburo members.
Whether this is a sincere unity effort or just another episode in his slow-motion power grab is anyone’s guess.
One thing’s clear: Tagwirei is no longer lurking in the shadows.
He’s front and centre, signing donation cheques with one hand and flipping the Zanu PF chessboard with the other.
As 2026 looms, Harare province is the battlefield. And Tagwirei? He’s the guy supplying both the ammunition and the medals.
Let the games begin.
