Author: Mashvee

Treasonous ARTUZ Demands Teacher Pay Hike in March 28 Protest

Treasonous ARTUZ Demands Teacher Pay Hike in March 28 Protest

Posted by | Mar 19, 2025 | |

The ever-problematic and Western-funded rogue regime change agents, masquerading as the Amalgamated Rural Teachers’ Union (ARTUZ), have called for another demonstration on 28 March.

This time, they are demanding a so-called “living wage” of US$1,260 for teachers, a figure so laughably high that it’s almost as if they believe educators deserve to live above the poverty line.

The Second Republic, however, remains steadfast in its commitment to ignoring the lamentations of these unpatriotic citizens.

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Tyre Traders Declared a National Security Threat—Because Rubber Burns Better Than Logic

Tyre Traders Declared a National Security Threat—Because Rubber Burns Better Than Logic

Posted by | Mar 19, 2025 | , |

Harare’s tyre vendors woke up to a shocker this week—they are now a national security threat! The Zimbabwe Republic Police (ZRP), in their boundless wisdom, have ordered all tyre traders to relocate their stockpiles immediately. Why? Because rubber, apparently, burns better than logic when citizens are angry.

Meanwhile, over in Chitungwiza, bars have been ordered to shut early, because limiting access to alcohol is clearly the best way to turn public frustration into yoga retreats. Nothing calms political unrest like enforced sobriety, right?

At this rate, it’s only a matter of time before owning a lighter is declared treason.

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Dear US, Keep Your Land—We’ll Keep Our Zimbabwe!

Dear US, Keep Your Land—We’ll Keep Our Zimbabwe!

Posted by | Mar 19, 2025 | , |

The United States has placed Zimbabwe in the “yellow” travel category—oh no, how will we ever survive without the privilege of scrubbing their dishes and driving their taxis? Well, dear Uncle Sam, keep your America, and we’ll keep our Zimbabwe! Who needs stable electricity, functioning hospitals, or a thriving economy when we have ZBC telling us everything is just fine? After all, in Zimbabwe, survival is an extreme sport, and we are champions!

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Beyond the Grave – A Visionless Man Who Sees Himself as a Visionary

Beyond the Grave – A Visionless Man Who Sees Himself as a Visionary

Posted by | Mar 19, 2025 | |

The once-mighty revolutionary party is imploding, and at the center of it all is Trabablas Chivende—a visionless man convinced he’s a visionary. His obsession with Agenda 2030 is less about progress and more about clinging to power, silencing dissenters, and turning Zimbabwe into a playground for political puppets and captured institutions. Meanwhile, vendors—who make up over 70% of the population—are being crushed for simply trying to survive. But as seen in Sakubva, resistance is brewing. The people are waking up, and Ruka’s grip on power is slipping.

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Mutsvangwa Swims Chiwenga to the Coast

Mutsvangwa Swims Chiwenga to the Coast

Posted by | Mar 19, 2025 | |

ZANU PF’s ongoing power struggles have taken a dramatic twist, with party spokesperson Christopher Mutsvangwa launching a blistering attack on Vice President Constantino Chiwenga. Branding him “cruel, illiterate, and unelectable,” Mutsvangwa appears to be setting the stage for yet another episode in Zimbabwe’s long-running political soap opera. But was this a sanctioned assault to clear the way for Ruka Chivende’s extended rule under Agenda 2030, or is Mutsvangwa simply a rogue vendor selling expired political tactics? As Chiwenga fumes and the Politburo braces for its next meeting, the real question is: Will this political drama end in a handshake or a body slam?

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