Category: Politics
Black Skin, White Mask: Mnangagwa’s colonial playbook
Emmerson Mnangagwa may wear liberation war credentials, but his governance style is more Ian Smith than Chimurenga. From the PVO Act to MOPA, his legislative tools echo Rhodesia’s playbook—only this time with black skin and a golden sceptre.
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Bosso Fans decry Blessed “Bombshell” Geza’s silence
During Highlanders’ tense 1–0 win over CAPS United, it wasn’t just footballs being kicked—Bosso fans launched chants at once-favorite war vet Blessed “Bombshell” Geza, accusing him of going silent when they needed him most. Has the revolutionary lion traded his roar for a plot in Mazowe?
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Holy Ten Vows to unleash “Toy Soldiers” to Chitown on hostile fans
Holy Ten’s Chitungwiza performance went south fast after fans booed and pelted him with bottles—twice. In true drama king fashion, he’s now threatening to return with “red berets,” leaving everyone wondering: military muscle or just cosplay from ZANU-PF HQ? ZimHip Hop may never be the same again.
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Glenview South Votes For Corruption
Glenview South has spoken—loudly and loyally—for corruption. In a by-election marinated in boreholes, food hampers, and broken promises, residents rewarded the architects of their poverty with a fresh mandate. With CCC too busy chasing Political Parties Funds to care, ZANU-PF didn’t win; the people surrendered.
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Beyond the Grave: Reckoning Day for Independence
From beyond the grave, a remorseful revolutionary reflects on Zimbabwe’s 45-year journey from colonial rule to black autocracy. As ZANU-PF marks Independence Day, he exposes the real legacy: massacres, corruption, dictatorship, and the dementia-led delusions of a president obsessed with power. Happy Never Uhuru, Zimbabwe.
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The empty charade- A panicked State of the addresses
In a paranoid outburst disguised as a national address, Zimbabwe’s ageing strongman lashes out at imagined enemies, disloyal allies, and dissenters threatening his dream of a life presidency and family dynasty. Dementia meets delusion in this darkly satirical ‘State of the Addresses.’
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Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Write No Evil & Get Paid
President Mnangagwa has launched the Munhumutapa Digital Hub to reward journalists who praise him, while silencing those who report the truth. In Zimbabwe’s new media landscape, propaganda pays—and truth costs freedom.
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Mnangagwa’s Mental Maths: 2028+2 = Life Presidency
Cde Blessed Geza claims President Mnangagwa is battling memory loss, forgetting constitutional term limits while remembering only corruption, power, and Precabe Farm. Could vascular dementia be fueling the Third Term agenda?
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Beyond the Grave- Not Yet Uhuru- 45 Years of Lies
From beyond the grave, a ghostly apology from Zimbabwe’s first strongman, confessing to past atrocities and warning about an even greater curse—Trabablas. Forty-five years after Uhuru, Independence feels like betrayal, not liberation.
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B.I.O.N.I.C State of the Nation Address: Believe It Or Not, I Care
My fellow countrymen, suffering masses, and disgruntled ZANU PF card-carrying members, it is my privilege and honor to address you under these grueling and tough circumstances—tough for you, of course, as my family and I, along with the chosen few of ZANU PF elites, continue to swim in the gravy of royalty.
You can’t fault us for your ignorant poverty, but as your President, it is my obligation to offer you false hope and empty sympathies.
So, bear with me as I outline the calamities that have turned three-quarters of the country into destitute beggars.
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Mnangagwa Cages the Wrong Blessed
Journalist Blessed Mhlanga has been caged, but not for his own sins—for those of another Blessed, war veteran Geza. With Geza still on the run, the Second Republic did the next best thing: arrest the wrong Blessed. Under Ruka Chivende, bail is not a constitutional right but a privilege reserved for the corrupt and connected. While Wicknell Chivhayo and Kudakwashe Tagwirei roam free, critics like Mhlanga rot in remand.
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Beyond the Grave: ZANU PF’s Factional Wars—Déjà Vu, but with More Riot Police
Once again, Zimbabwe is caught in the middle of a grand ZANU PF drama—different actors, same tired script. On one side, Ruka Chivende clings to power like it’s the last meal at a buffet. On the other, General Chiwenga’s faction sharpens its knives under the noble guise of “fighting corruption.” Sound familiar? Of course, it does.
Remember 2017’s Operation Restore Legacy? You were invited to dance in the streets, then promptly kicked out once the real guests settled in. Now, history is dusting off its old script—this time targeting the “Zvigananda around Mnangagwa.” But tell me, fellow Zimbabweans, did your lives improve after I was removed? Or did you just get new faces with the same bad habits?
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