By Cde Bekezela Mkonto kaMthwakazi
Oh no! The United States has placed Zimbabwe in the “yellow” category of its travel restrictions list!
What a devastating blow!
Now, we will no longer have the luxury of hopping on planes to go clean their dishes, drive their taxis, or work tirelessly in their hospitals.
How will we ever survive?
Let’s be clear, Uncle Sam, you keep your America, and we will proudly keep our Zimbabwe!
Yes, we may have power cuts that last longer than your presidential terms, potholes that rival the Grand Canyon, and hospitals that operate with more prayers than medicines, but it’s home, and we love it!
And as for your health aid, kindly keep it. After all, our hospitals are thriving!
Who needs modern medical equipment when our doctors are trained in the ancient art of diagnosing illnesses by simply looking at a patient’s face?
Who needs drugs when a good old Zanu PF slogan and a rally speech can cure any disease?
Our hospitals have become elite institutions where survival is an extreme sport.
If you make it out alive, congratulations, you win another chance at life! If not, well… at least funeral parlors are booming!
Besides, America, what do you even have that we need?
Stable electricity, functioning roads, and a thriving economy?
Please, we have The Herald and ZBC News, which tell us that our industries are booming, our economy is growing, and our president is always winning, so clearly, we are doing just fine!
So take your travel ban and enjoy it.
We’ll be right here, in our beloved Zimbabwe, making the best of what’s left after decades of tireless mismanagement and corruption. Cheers!
