By Cde Bekezela Mkonto kaMthwakazi

Zimbabwe’s military crooner Jah Prayzah has been grounded—not by turbulence, but by a U.S. embassy that seems to have smelled something far funkier than his cologne.

His Independence Day shows in Washington, D.C., and Dallas, Texas, have been unceremoniously cancelled after what he diplomatically described as a “technical issue” with his visa application.

However, sources whisper that it wasn’t just a missing form—it was a missing moral compass… traced via Wi-Fi.

The real “technical glitch”? Allegedly, his glowing digital proximity to one Wicknell Chivayo, Zimbabwe’s human ATM and certified Zvigananda-in-Chief—who’s been on a spiritual mission to turn Jah Prayzah into a garage owner with more horsepower than humility.

Yes, the US State Department may have concluded that anyone receiving a brand-new luxury vehicle every quarter from a man whose income is as traceable as a ZUPCO timetable… might not be visiting just to sing.

“Applicants must credibly establish their eligibility,” read the new US visa guidelines.

By “credibly,” they clearly mean: don’t be reposting selfies next to men whose bank accounts glow in the dark and whose businesses exist only on PowerPoint slides.

While Jah insists, “The US Consulate was supportive and tried to assist in every possible way they could,” it seems no amount of consular sympathy could override the embassy’s background check algorithm, which probably screamed in bold red:
“ASSOCIATES WITH HIGH-RISK TENDERPRENEURS: SEE EXHIBIT ‘BRABUS G-WAGON’.”

In a heartfelt Facebook post that read like the beginning of a break-up letter, Jah lamented:

“I write this with a heavy heart. I was ready and excited to meet you in Washington, D.C. on July 4th and Dallas on July 5th…”

But clearly, the Americans weren’t ready to meet his entourage of spiritual financiers, customized Mercedes-Benzes, and their mysterious origins.

Whispers from diplomatic corridors suggest that while JP’s vocals hit the right note, his Insta-tagged benefactors did not—
particularly one Sir Wicknell, whose generosity has triggered more red flags than a ZANU PF rally on Independence Day.

Despite all this, JP tried to steer the narrative away from the obvious:

“Some have been trying to push the narrative that visas were denied, that is not true but, unfortunately, changes nothing at this point.”

Technically, yes. Spiritually? Mmm… the Zvigananda spirits say otherwise.

Luckily for fans in Canada, Mapostori watchdogs haven’t yet reached the north.

Jah Prayzah confirmed his Canadian gigs are still on—perhaps because the Mounties haven’t connected the dots, or maybe Wicknell doesn’t do Toronto.

For now, fans are left refunding their Independence Day plans and hoping that when Jah finally returns to the US, he does so with fewer “blessers” and more believable paperwork.

As for Wicknell, he remains silent—perhaps busy blessing someone else’s visa denial.