By Cde Bekezela Mkomto ka Mthwakazi

A high powered delegation led by Local Government Minister Daniel Garwe last week jetted off to Kazan, Russia, to learn how to redesign Mbare Musika, because apparently, local engineers are too busy building rockets to design markets.

Yes, Russia the proud home of vodka, winters colder than your ex’s heart, and, apparently, market designs for an inner-city marketplace in Zimbabwe.

Who better to trust with our beloved Mbare market than the same country that brought us the concept of the “Russian doll” and, let’s be honest, some pretty questionable political decisions.

The delegation, made up of four cabinet ministers because you can’t design a market without at least four of them, includes Garwe, Monica Mutsvangwa, Zhemu Soda, and Health Minister Douglas Mombeshora, along with Harare Mayor Jacob Mafume.

Oh, and don’t forget the “technical experts,” who probably could’ve stayed home and done the same thing on Google.

Criticism has been swift and loud.

Many Zimbabweans, apparently still under the mistaken belief that our own engineers and architects are perfectly capable of designing a market, have questioned the astronomical costs of this trip.

Why spend millions on flights, accommodations, and learning how to “better design” a market, when local talent could do the and probably with better Wi-Fi?

One particularly frustrated social media user, Sholom Takavengwa, nailed it: “Millions spent to educate and promote science and technological innovations.”

“Yet this shows ZERO confidence in our domestic engineers, architects, and designers,” wrote Sholom Takavengwa.

But it gets better. Zvayi Zatta, clearly still baffled by the notion of “spending money to save money,” asked: “What’s the cost of sending ministers to see a design of a market”

“They could have enlisted students at HIT or Poly and bought textbooks and instruments with that money,” quizzed Zara.

What’s the cost of sending ministers to see a design of a market?

They could have enlisted students at HIT or Poly and bought textbooks and instruments with that money.

Oh yes, textbooks! The true tool of world-class market design.

Others took aim at the delegation itself, asking the question on all our minds.

What on earth do Monica Mutsvangwa, Daniel Garwe, and Dr. Mombeshora have in common with a technical design process.

According to patriotic social media user mmatigari,  “It boggles my mind that we have three cabinet ministers sitting in this room in Russia for a ‘technical exchange’for redesigning Mbare Musika?”

“Monica Mutsvangwa, Daniel Garwe and Dr Mombeshora are not technical resources for this.

“We need to quit this village mindset. Guys think big!” said mmatigari.

George Nyandoro, no stranger to the fine art of constructive criticism, also chimed in, calling out the government’s apparent lack of faith in local talent.

“Serious leadership would have noted that there are many skilled professionals here who could design and build Mbare market.

“Kungoda kutisekesa nevarungu chete (they just want white people to laugh at us),” wrote Nyandoro.

You have to wonder, though, if a government official is redesigning a market halfway across the world, is there any hope for local solutions to local problems?

Sure, why not send everyone to Russia?

Maybe the next great solution for Zimbabwe’s water crisis involves a summer vacation to the Maldives for “climate change studies.”

But no, why bother with such trifling matters when there’s foreign market design expertise to be had?

Maybe next, we’ll be sending a team to Venus for urban planning lessons.

After all, if you can redesign a market from another planet, surely Mbare Musika will be a piece of cake.

In the meantime, local architects and engineers wait with bated breath, hoping for a phone call or, perhaps more realistically, another unexplained government delegation to yet another random foreign destination.

But hey, at least they’ll be able to bring back some really nice souvenirs!