The Office of the President and Cabinet last week issued a strongly worded warning to NewsDay newspaper to retract its “lies” about President Ruka Chivende or else.

The offense? Publishing a story exposing His Excellency’s clandestine plans to push his Agenda 2030 through parallel structures.

Naturally, the OPC wasn’t having any of it.

“The Office of the President and Cabinet expresses very deep concern about a slanderous story in today’s News Day, ‘Mnangagwa turns to parallel structures.’

“The article falsely and maliciously creates the impression that the State President, His Excellency Dr ED Mnangagwa, is hell-bent on breaching the National Constitution by extending his term limit “via the back door”, beyond what is provided for under the country’s supreme law,”thundered the statement.

True Patriots know that only state media are allowed to spread questionable narratives!
Only against opposition politicians, civil society, and anyone foolish enough to advocate for democracy.

Indeed, NewsDay could learn a thing or two from patriotic outlets like The Herald, The Chronicle, and, of course, the ever-reliable ZANU PF Broadcasting Corporation (ZBC).

These bastions of truth know their role: when it comes to President Ruka Chivende, it’s all “hear no evil, see no evil, and certainly write no evil.”

Lies, Lies, and… the Truth?

The NewsDay story reportedly claimed that President Chivende is using parallel structures to bulldoze his way to an unconstitutional third term.

But let’s set the record straight: parallel structures? Surely not!

The correct term is *supportive grassroots initiatives.

Take, for example, the resolutions from Masvingo, Mashonaland East, and Harare provinces pledging allegiance to Chivende’s third-term ambitions.

Are these parallel structures? Of course not!

They’re just enthusiastic ZANU PF structures doing what’s best for the nation (and themselves).

And what about those videos of Women for ED, Teachers for ED, Mahwindi for ED, and even Mapositori for ED chanting “Agenda 2030” slogans?

Pure coincidence. It’s hardly slanderous when patriotic citizens unite in their love for Chivende.

It only becomes defamatory when private media dare to write about it.

A History Lesson in Loyalty

Let’s not forget, Chivende has been perfecting the art of creative governance since 2017, when he ascended to power through a “military-assisted transition” (not a coup, mind you).

After narrowly surviving rejection by some ZANU PF structures back then, he found his footing by embracing grassroots movements that conveniently operate outside traditional party lines.

Some critics might call these “parallel structures,” but we prefer the term flexible governance frameworks.

Who else but Chivende could unite such diverse groups under a single banner?

Housewives, teachers, apostolic sects, and kombi drivers everyone’s welcome in the big tent of ED’s vision.

The Real Crime

So what was NewsDay’s real crime?

They wrote about what everyone already knows.

Zimbabweans don’t need privately owned media to tell them that President Chivende has a soft spot for bending the rules to suit his ambitions.

But in the world of state propaganda, it’s one thing to know, and quite another to say.

State controlled media, after all, has mastered the art of reporting without offending.

When ZBC covers Chivende’s “Agenda 2030” plans, it’s visionary leadership.

When NewsDay reports the same thing, it’s slander.

The moral of the story? If you’re not toeing the ZANU PF line, you’re out of line.

As Zimbabwe marches toward “Agenda 2030” and likely an “Agenda 2040” if Chivende has his way privately owned media will remain the scapegoat for telling inconvenient truths.

Meanwhile, the state controlled media will continue its noble duty of spinning fairy tales for the masses.

So, to NewsDay and others who dare speak out: take a cue from your patriotic counterparts.

The formula is simple. Praise Chivende. Ignore reality. And, above all, remember: only the state media is allowed to lie.