Episodes
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Zanu PF Resolutions: The sad truth
In this episode, we discuss the Zanu PF Resolution from the Zanu PF People’s Conference held in Bulawayo on October 2014. Whats in it for the masses, how much is the party overriding government work.
We also talk to journalists to unpack some of the disinformation tactics our government has been using and ways to counter these, please listen!
Of Dembare and Beer: Even Mbinga Owned Clubs Fall
Dynamos FC proved once again that when beer is on the line, they simply don’t miss! After sipping on Chibuku in December, the Glamour Boys have now secured a taste of clear beer with their Castle Challenge Cup triumph. Even against a Mbinga-backed, South Africa-camped Simba Bhora, Dembare showed that no amount of offshore training can outmatch local resilience—especially when the prize is sponsored by Delta Beverages. Tenderera MaBlanyo!
The Troublebabalas drama Part 1
The Troublebabalas saga continues! This week, The True Patriot unearths the absurdity of Trabablas Ruka Chivende’s desperate attempts to sell his “No Third Term” lie while secretly paving the way for a life presidency. From his bootlicking choir to his fraudulent academic all-stars, Zimbabwe is drowning in deception. Even the late great Comrade Himself chimes in from beyond the grave, calling out the hypocrisy, corruption, and staged Instagram-like “development projects.” If you thought this week was dramatic, stay tuned for Part 2!
Throw A Stone At Shake-shake Building And You Will Hit A PHD Holder
Under President Trabablas’ reign, Zimbabwe’s ruling party has become the ultimate academic institution—handing out PhDs faster than a street vendor sells airtime. The True Patriot hilariously examines how ZANU PF’s Shake-Shake Building is now overflowing with “Doctors,” from Tatenda Mavetera, who mysteriously forgot her thesis title, to Amai Auxilia Mnangagwa, whose doctorate is as prestigious as her taxpayer-funded pada tournaments. At this rate, even Wicknell “Chigananda” Chivayo might soon be a proud PhD holder!
Mnangagwa’s All-Weather Friends Introduce Mining To Bryden Country School
In this blistering satire from The True Patriot, Nhamo Taneta exposes the madness behind Zimbabwe’s “Open for Business” policy—now taking mining straight to the classroom! With Chinese miners set to dig up Bryden Country School, students will get a hands-on “education” in environmental destruction. After all, under President Trabablas, nothing—not even schools—is off-limits for his “all-weather friends.”
War Veterans Get Water, But Still No Roof Over Their Heads
In this scathing True Patriot piece, Cde Patriot Sungura dissects ZANU PF’s latest “masterstroke”—boreholes for war veterans, because who needs a roof when you’ve got water? As the government parades this “milestone” under the Trabablas Chivende initiative, war veterans remain homeless, hungry, and forgotten—just not thirsty! A satirical deep dive into promises that flow faster than progress.
Ministers Mhona and Garwe: Heroes of Cardboard Casts and Medical Tape Solutions”
Zimbabwe’s healthcare sector has once again proven that necessity is the mother of invention. Thanks to the “visionary” leadership of Ministers Felix Mhona and Daniel Garwe, the nation is witnessing a medical revolution—cardboard splints and cellotape casts. While critics cry “inhumane,” true patriots see innovation! Why waste millions on plaster casts when a sturdy box and tape can do the job? As Ministers pose for photos and critics rant online, one thing is clear—Zimbabwe leads the world in DIY healthcare solutions!
Warriors Settle in South Africa Again Amid Stadium ‘Renovations’
In this biting satire, The True Patriot ridicules ZIFA’s “home-away-from-home” farce as the Warriors once again host a World Cup qualifier in South Africa—because who needs an actual stadium in Zimbabwe? With Minister Kirsty Coventry’s promises gathering more dust than the National Sports Stadium, the Warriors are fast becoming a touring agency rather than a national team.
Drug Testing policy should start at the top office
In this latest Beyond the Grave dispatch, our late supreme leader delivers another dose of unfiltered wisdom, endorsing Deputy Health Minister Sleiman Kwidini’s call for mandatory drug testing—with one crucial amendment: Start at the top! From Trabablas’ chaotic policies to Mutsvangwa’s rambling press conferences, the signs are clear—something stronger than logic is at play. And with the ZRP now charging Cde Geza, could a showdown between the police and the Generari be brewing? Stay tuned—2024 is serving drama hotter than a ZANU PF rally speech!
Cde Geza, Beware! Trabablas is the “Army, Police and the Judiciary
ZANU PF Republic Police (ZRP) is hunting for Cde Blessed Geza, dusting off old charges to remind him that in the Second Republic, every citizen has a case—it just activates when you criticize President Ruka Chivende. Geza should seek survival tips from seasoned ‘Western puppets’ Obert Masaraure and Robson Chere, or perhaps Job Sikhala and Jameson Timba—veterans of ZANU PF’s favorite game: Criticize and Catch a Charge. As history shows, under Trabablas, justice comes swift—armed with the Army, Police, and Judiciary. Good luck, Cde Geza. You’ll need it!
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