SADC Chair Goes Down Fighting – Literally!

In a shocking display of diplomacy gone rogue, Zimbabwe’s very own SADC Chair and part-time boxer, Themba Gorimbo, nearly “negotiated himself into the afterlife” during his recent fight in the ring. The champion, known for his bravery both in the ring and as a staunch representative of President Mnangagwa’s bold claim that “every Zimbabwean is a SADC Chair,” faced an opponent who clearly didn’t respect diplomatic immunity.

Eyewitnesses report that Gorimbo entered the fight with the resilience of a seasoned chairperson—sturdy, unshakable, and ready to represent the region. Unfortunately, his opponent treated him less like a chair and more like a punching bag, leaving Gorimbo with more bruises than votes in a ZEC tally.

“Look, I gave it my all,” Gorimbo reportedly said post-fight, wiping sweat and what might have been the remnants of a regional resolution off his face. “But even as SADC Chair, I couldn’t chair my way out of those uppercuts!”

Social media was quick to respond, with Zimbabweans hailing Gorimbo as a symbol of resilience while questioning whether SADC Chair status should also require mandatory boxing lessons. “If every Zimbabwean is a SADC Chair, we need a crash course in dodging both punches and propaganda,” quipped one Twitter user.

A Blow to Regional Diplomacy?

Critics speculate that this loss might tarnish Zimbabwe’s standing as the self-appointed chair of everything. “How can we chair SADC meetings if we can’t even chair a boxing match?” one satirical commentator asked.

A Lesson in Resilience

Despite the loss, Gorimbo’s determination remains unshaken. “I’ve learned that being a SADC Chair isn’t just about representing the people—it’s about learning how to duck!” he joked, promising a stronger comeback both in the ring and in his symbolic role.

As Gorimbo nurses his wounds, Zimbabweans are left to ponder: Is there a boxing belt for SADC Chairs, or should Gorimbo stick to the metaphorical fights for the region? Either way, one thing is certain: the man took punches for all of us SADC chairs, and for that, we salute him.