By Cde Bekezela Mkonto ka Mthwakazi
True Patriots of our beloved nation what a time to be alive in Zimbabwe, where even academic qualifications can be blessed by divine intervention—and, apparently, the Zimbabwe Republic Police (ZRP).
The recent scandal surrounding Prophet Walter Magaya’s alleged forged academic credentials is not just a story, it’s a spiritual awakening.
Who knew that the Waterfalls Police Station had the power to turn fake diplomas into holy relics?
Truly, miracles are real, and they come with a police stamp of approval.
Magaya, the founder of PhD Ministries is under fire for submitting a “certified” UNISA Marketing diploma to the Harare High Court.
The only problem, UNISA says it’s as fake as a $3 bill.
But let’s not be too hasty to judge.
Perhaps this is just another example of Magaya’s divine connections.
After all, if he can heal the sick and predict the future, why not conjure up a diploma or two?
And let’s give credit where it’s due, our beloved ZRP played its part in this miracle by certifying the document.
Who needs due diligence when yeah you have faith?
The police, bless their hearts, are supposed to be the guardians of truth and justice.
But in this case, they’ve outdone themselves. Certifying a fake diploma isn’t just negligence; it’s a bold statement of solidarity with the prophet.
It’s as if they’re saying, “If Magaya says it’s real, then by the powers vested in us, it shall be real!”
Who needs authenticity when you have a police stamp?
It’s like turning water into wine, but with paperwork.
And let’s not forget the broader implications.
If the police can certify a fake diploma, what’s next?
Certifying unicorn sightings? Approving a driver’s license for a donkey?
The possibilities are endless.
This scandal isn’t just about Magaya; it’s a testament to the ZRP’s creativity and flexibility.
Why bother with tedious verification processes when you can just stamp and pray?
But let’s not be too hard on our law enforcement heroes.
They’re clearly overworked, underpaid, and now, apparently, moonlighting as academic miracle workers.
Instead of demanding accountability, perhaps we should be thanking them for their innovative approach to public service.
After all, in a country where the economy is a rollercoaster and the politics is a circus, why shouldn’t the police add a little magic to the mix?
So, here’s to Walter Magaya and the ZRP—our modern-day miracle workers.
May their divine diplomas and blessed stamps continue to inspire us all.
