By Cde Patriot Sungura
The ZANU PF government has unveiled its latest stroke of genius, the War Veterans Borehole Drilling Scheme, part of the ever-so-eloquently named Trabablas Chivende initiative.
This groundbreaking plan aims to provide war veterans, those who literally bled for Zimbabwe’s independence with the one thing they’ve been desperately missing, water.
After all, who needs a house when you’ve got a borehole?
The scheme comes hot on the heels of Bombshell Geza’s audacious refusal to support the 2030 Life Presidency agenda, a move that has apparently thrown a spanner into the well-oiled machine of Zimbabwe’s political circus.
Enter President Mnangagwa, or as we like to call him, “Scoporodick…or whatever”, who has swooped in like a modern-day Mahatma Gandhi to save the day.
Or at least, to give the impression of saving the day. Because let’s be real, this isn’t about consistency, it’s about tossing a few crumbs to the masses while the elite feast at the banquet table.
Now, let’s break this down.
War veterans, many of whom are living in destitution, have been promised boreholes.
Not houses, not healthcare, not income-generating projects, just boreholes.
After all, nothing says “thank you for your sacrifice” like a hole in the ground.
Ruka Chivnede has boldly declared that no war veteran will ever go thirsty again.
Hungry, maybe. Homeless, probably but thirsty, Never!
After all, water is the foundation of life, and who needs a roof when you’ve got a well?
It’s worth noting that the idea of providing housing for war veterans has been “in the works” since April 1980.
That’s over four decades of false starts, broken promises, and empty rhetoric.
But fear not, dear comrades! Cadre Ruka has implored war veterans to stand resolute in the face of this latest promise.
In fact, the Agenda 2030 plan is crystal clear, by 2030, all promises will magically come to fruition.
And if they don’t, well, that’s just life, isn’t it, because plans do not always go as planned.
In true ZANU PF fashion, this initiative seems less about addressing real issues and more about crafting the illusion of progress. It’s a textbook example of putting lipstick on a pig or, in this case, drilling a borehole in a wasteland and calling it development.
It’s a classic case of putting lipstick on a pig or in this case, drilling a borehole in a wasteland.
So here’s to the war veterans, may your thirst be quenched, even if your hunger, homelessness, and healthcare needs remain unaddressed.
After all, in the words of the great Scoporodick…or whatever, “water is life.”
Just don’t ask about the rest.
