Fellow countrymen, ZANU PF loyalists, and opposition supporters, I rise from the grave once more to share my unmatched political wisdom.
Deputy Health Minister Sleiman Kwidini’s call for mandatory drug testing is long overdue.
As your former supreme leader, I endorse this, but with a twist.
Remember, a fish rots from the head.
Drug testing must start at the highest office.
Some decisions from Trabablas and his sycophants reek of substances stronger than logic.
These clowns are on overdrive, twisting IMF statements into praise for Zimbabwe’s economy.
Let’s be clear: a few polite sentences from a guest don’t equal confidence.
The reality is there is over 90% unemployment, rampant corruption, and policies as consistent as a weather forecast.
Yet, these thugs want to extend Trabablas’ term because he’s doing “such a nice job.” Sure, let’s talk about Agenda 2030.
Trabablas recently fired ministers, directors, and a few sacrificial lambs.
But for the common folk, nothing changes.
Salaries are stagnant, working conditions are dire, and somehow, it’s everyone’s fault except Cadre Ruka. Power is shifting, but not to the people.
Enter Chief Highfalutin Christopher Mutsvangwa, who held a press conference to attack Comrade Bombshell, the latest thorn in Trabablas’ side.
The press conference was a masterclass in utter verbosity, filled with incoherent ramblings and complete nonsensical statements, if you ask me.
But what else can you expect from a sellout?
Meanwhile, our captured Zimbabwe Republic Police has embraced Agenda 2030 so wholeheartedly that they’ve slapped criminal charges on Cde Geza.
This signals the police are now against the army, and Mutamba has crossed the Generari. Interesting times ahead, indeed.
Till next time, Asante Sana.
