By Cde Patriot Sunungura
Justice minister — or should we say minister of Injustice — Ziyambi Ziyambi has announced the Second Republic’s latest war.
Not on corruption, looters and even potholes.
No, comrades, the new enemy of the state is…“WhatsApp group administrators.”
Apparently, if your group member dares forward a meme mocking a government chef, the admin can expect an all-expenses-paid trip to Chikurubi.
Forget “Zero Tolerance on Corruption.”
The slogan now reads: “Zero Tolerance on Group Chats.”
This is the “hear no evil, see no evil” policy.
Under the shiny new Cyber and Data Protection Act, criticism is contraband.
Where Bob had POSA and AIPPA, President Emmerson Mnangagwa now boasts MOPA and Cyber Act.
Who knew Trabablas would end up beating Mugabe at his own suppression game?
A self-styled “constitutionalist” who criminalises free expression — that’s Mnangagwa’s innovation to political science.
Maybe they’ll call it the Harare Doctrine one day.
With Vision 2030 looming, the Cyber Act looks less like development and more like a digital cattle prod to herd citizens into silence.
Given the corruption exposed in the Auditor General’s Report, practically every WhatsApp user is a candidate for remand.
Even typing “handisati ndawana salary” in your family group could qualify as subversion.
And of course, the Act offers immunity perks.
Remember Obadiah Moyo and his US$60 million Covid scandal?
Under this law, it’s not the looter who gets punished — it’s the one who posts “Obadiah ndiye corona chaiyo” in a WhatsApp group.
So brace yourselves, comrades.
In the Second Republic, being a WhatsApp admin is more dangerous than being a gold smuggler at RGM Airport.
