By Cde Bekezela Mkonto KaMthwakazi
Well, well, well, our own glorified tenderpreneur-in-chief, Wicknell “Sir Wicki” Chivhayo, last week in China walked away with a US$2.5 billion contract while the government of Zimbabwe, the official custodian of 15 million souls, managed to negotiate a humble US$600 million.
True patriots, you heard that right, apparently, Chivhayo is one man with a bigger bite than a whole government.
Chivhayo, who carries no ministerial brief, no parliamentary seat, and no trace of accountability, travels the globe on a diplomatic passport as if born in State House itself.
Our beloved philanthropist Chivhayo, who doles out luxury vehicles like candy, doesn’t just do business, he is business!
Even Ruka Chivende, our crocodile-in-chief, seems to nod approvingly as his protégé carves chunks out of the national cake before the oven even cools.
Lest we forget, this is the same man who pocketed US$5 million for the Gwanda Solar project and produced not even a candle for the villagers.
Instead, he invested heavily in Gucci, Mercedes, and social media visibility.
While the nation languishes in darkness, Sir Wicki shines brighter than ZESA’s wildest dreams.
Generari Kheda once warned him, even baptising him with the word Chigananda.
However, Wicknell responded the only way he knows, by spraying luxury cars on ministers, influencers, and anyone with a surname worth tagging.
In any normal country, such a man would be locked away in a maximum-security prison, guarded by wardens with itchy trigger fingers.
In Zimbabwe, he is celebrated, praised by ministers, and given front-row pews at every church that wants a Range Rover in its parking lot.
While the government borrows with a begging bowl, Chivhayo donates with a golden ladle.
The irony would be hilarious if it wasn’t so tragic.
So we ask, is Wiki building the nation, or is the nation building Wiki?
The answer is written on his expanding waistline.
Dumbuzenene has turned the ministry of finance into his personal EcoCash wallet. Some men are one in a million; Wicknell is one in 15 million.
That’s the whole country bowing to the empire of selfies and signed contracts.
His business model is simple: visibility.
A selfie with the president apparently becomes a tender.
A handshake with a Chinese official becomes a billion-dollar cheque.
A hug with a prophet becomes a prophetic word of immunity.
Wiki has captured the state, captured the church, captured social media, and captured the economy.
What’s left to capture? Maybe the presidency itself.
At this rate, don’t be surprised if the next cabinet reshuffle includes “Minister of Wicknell Affairs.”
