By Bekezela Mkonto KaMthwakazi
True Patriots, just when we thought the politics of the altar had been dismantled and the congregation dismissed, Nelson “Advocate Pastor” Chamisa has returned with his third coming.
Chamisa, announcing that he is back in active politics after a two-year sabbatical, said that this time around his followers should clutch onto “Agenda 2026.”
Agenda 26 is no doubt a political abstract—so broad, so vague, and so spiritually elastic it could double as a Sunday sermon, a manifesto, or a WhatsApp motivational poster.
Mr “God is in it”, the perpetual opposition leader who thrives on exploiting the masses’ emotions, is back!
Once again, Chamisa will be targeting gullible people, the bruised hearts, the empty pockets—exhausted and aggrieved by ZANU PF’s misrule and bad governance—to trust, follow, and vote for him.
He channels rage, baptises despair, and presents himself as the self-anointed messiah—salvation promised every election season, delivery perpetually rescheduled.
True Patriots, let me take you back memory lane to 2018, the first coming.
Chamisa announced himself as Zimbabwe’s political redeemer, rejected Emmerson Mnangagwa’s victory, and vowed divine justice via the courts.
He participated in the election under the MDC Alliance without ensuring there were the much-needed political and electoral reforms.
The result was, of course, an inevitable defeat declared and legitimised by the partisan ZEC.
Protesters that were shot during the August 1, 2018 protests were branded “fools” by Chamisa, who argued what they had done was not strategic and that he had a plan.
To date, his own strategies and plans have not yet materialised.
Chamisa, following the 2018 elections, marched to the Constitutional Court armed with rhetoric and righteous divine anger, and marched out with nothing.
President Emmerson Mnangagwa comfortably stayed in power, and the prophecy expired quietly.
Undeterred, Chamisa assured followers that the regime would fall within three months.
Three months passed, nothing happened, and once again hope was deferred and memory erased.
The ordinary folk, subjected to abject poverty, continued to believe despite reality showing the opposite.
But belief has consequences.
By January 2022, Chamisa had rebranded again, now fronting the Citizens Coalition for Change (CCC), characterised by so-called “strategic ambiguity”.
CCC emerged as a party allergic to structures and accountability.
Chaos followed in the 2023 elections, where ZANU PF went to great lengths to ensure opposition urban strongholds had missing ballots, delayed voting, and predictable public outrage ensued.
Regional and international observers such as SADC, AU, and EU condemned the process, declaring it did not meet the international standards of a democratic election.
Chamisa responded with statements, hashtags, and prayer emojis.
Strategy to date still remains missing.
Prior to the 2023 elections, in 2022, while Chamisa was busy stirring crowds with the newly hyped opposition party, the CCC, young activist Mboneni Ncube was fatally stabbed by ZANU PF assailants at a Kwekwe rally.
The movement led by Chamisa moved on, and Ncube’s family did not, as he was the breadwinner.
Reports later emerged that the Chamisa-led CCC did not offer any aid, and the family continued to suffer, being punished long after the slogans faded.
Chamisa, the messiah, promised change, and Ncube’s mourners got silence.
Moreblessing Ali, the late renowned CCC activist, is no exception. She was abducted, brutally murdered, and buried years later after delays that turned grief into a public spectacle.
Even her funeral was not spared politics.
Slogans drowned tears.
Her family was left to suffer twice—first from loss, then from the movement’s obsession with symbolism over humanity.
When CCC imploded from within, thanks to so-called “strategic ambiguity”, following the emergence of self-proclaimed interim secretary general Sengezo Tshabangu,
Tshabangu engineered parliamentary and local government recalls as an obscure functionary.
Chamisa did not fight back, though sources close to him say he prayed without ceasing.
Chamisa, the political messiah, walked away, and the two million voters were abandoned like expired campaign posters.
Cue the sabbatical.
Chamisa became an X (formerly Twitter) preacher, funeral MC, and full-time curator of Bible verses.
Now the political messiah, Chamisa, has returned with Agenda 2026.
No party, no structures, and no plan—just vibes, faith, and recycled hope.
The pattern is clear.
Chamisa is not a strategist.
He is a populist prophet.
He feeds on emotional outrage, not institutional reform.
He excites the masses, promises deliverance, and disappears when the cost becomes real—paid not by him, but by supporters who bleed, die, and leave families behind.
He sees himself as David, yet refuses to confront Goliath with anything sharper than a hashtag.
Critics are dismissed.
Applause is mistaken for progress.
On the other hand, ZANU-PF does what it always does: organise, outlast, and wait him out.
As the saying goes, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me a third time, shame on both of us.”
Zimbabweans are now on Chamisa’s third coming, with Agenda 2026 stamped on the cover.
The Pastor is back, the sermon is loud, the masses angry and anguished, hoping and praying for a better alternative.
Despite Chamisa’s return, the miracle, once again, is missing.
