By Sports Reporter

Dembare, on Saturday, stunned Zvigananda FC, better known as Scottland FC, with a dramatic 3–2 victory at Rufaro Stadium.

The Glamour Boys fans roared so loud, even ZESA remembered to keep the lights on in Mbare for the night.

Zvigananda, dripping with gold chains and Dubai perfume, arrived with the arrogance of chefs at State House.

Tymon “Air Machope” nodded in the opener from a Knowledge Musona delivery, leaving Dembare fans quiet like pensioners at NSSA offices.

But Dynamos FC, inspired by the new Gaffer Kelvin Kaindu, declared: “Hatidi kurohwa nema gold mafia boys!”

Shadreck Nyahwa smashed in the equaliser, silencing Zvigananda’s vuvuzelas like government announcing stringent new taxes and tariffs.

Vusa Ngwenya then punished the defenders, who looked more confused than an urban voter in the July 23 elections waiting for ballot papers.

Machope responded, restoring hope with his brace, and the Zvigananda fans started chanting: “Mabviravira, Mabviravira, Mabviravira!”

Hoping the goals would also be exported tax-free.

Then came the killer blow.

Denver “Papa Ghetto” Mukamba, once dumped by Scottland FC like an old manifesto, returned with vengeance.

His rocket from outside the 18-yard box made Rufaro shake like we were celebrating April 18, 1980, Independence Day before ZANU PF’s state-sponsored corruption and patronage took root.

But here’s the offside rule nobody can ignore: Zvigananda FC is owned by flamboyant businessman and MP Pedzai “Scott” Sakupwanya.

In a July 2022 report by the Centre for Natural Resource Governance (CNRG), Sakupwanya was named as a central figure in a vast network enabling illicit gold leakages – 3 tonnes a month, US$1.9 billion a year – allegedly smuggled to South Africa, the UAE, China, and India.

That’s right, Zvigananda FC’s “Boss” allegedly moves gold the way Dembare fans move into Rufaro without paying gate fees.

Rumour has it, if Zvigananda lose again, Scott might just smuggle in Haaland from Manchester City instead of smuggling gold to Dubai.

Political pundits joked that Zvigananda’s midfield collapsed the same way anti-corruption commissions collapse whenever a gold bar appears on the table.

One Dembare fan quipped: “Zvigananda yakatadza nekuti referee uyu haadiwo maUS$ pa envelope.”