By Cde Honest Vhura Hombe

Zanu PF’s motormouth spokesperson last week took centre stage, wielding the party constitution like a machete at a gold rush artisanal mining site.

With the flair of a liberation war griot and the fury of a betrayed Mhondoro spirit, Mutsvangwa recently declared war on fuel baron and tender-scented prophet of prosperity, Kudakwashe Tagwirei.

“You don’t buy the party,” Mutsvangwa thundered, eyes blazing like a kombi driver denied change. “You join it. You queue!”

Of course, many in the party whispered, “Ah, asi Chiwenga akambomira here mu-line?”

Because if queuing is gospel, then General Chiwenga must have skipped church.

True Patriots Let us go back memory lane and discuss the Zanu PF drama of 2017, when tanks rolled into Harare like kombis during peak hour.

Chiwenga, in full military glory, booted out Mugabe with more ease than a Kombi conductor ejecting a passenger with a torn note.

Within weeks, the general traded camo for a suit and landed the vice presidency — no primary, no congress, not even a T-shirt campaign.

Straight from KG6 to the VP’s office. Even the constitution was like, “Zvangu zvapera.”

Yet now, years later, Mutsvangwa wants to enforce constitutional queues like he’s a bouncer at the Zanu PF nightclub.

His real target isTagwirei. But the second blade of the sword is clearly aimed at Chiwenga.

Just when you thought it couldn’t get juicier, Tagwirei — the man said to be “unelectable” — was seen grinning on the golf course with none other than President Emmerson Mnangagwa.

Club in hand, swinging for politics or par, Tagwirei was described as moving with the “over-rotation of a man placing himself into history — and the president’s personal space.” Hoo zvazonyanyisa.

It sent tongues wagging faster than a kombi tout on payday.

Meanwhile, Monica Mutsvangwa — Zimbabwe’s first lady-in-waiting threw her own shade. She warned against “secret meetings” and money politics.

Aimed at Tagwirei? Sure. But also a sly jab at ED’s indulgent bromance with Mr Fuel & Faith.

Still, the Mutsvangwas are playing with fire.

Chris was once Chiwenga’s biggest cheerleader during Operation Restore Legacy.

Now he’s invoking democracy like an overzealous CCC supporter after the 2023 elections.

But in Zanu PF, memory is like maize meal — easy to store, but hard to swallow when old.

Tagwirei may have missed the Central Committee bus for now, but the man owns the fuel — literally.

The war chest is full, the bishops are praying, and the golf shoes are polished.

As for Chiwenga? He’s letting Mutsvangwa swing his sword while he watches from the shadows, one hand on his military memoir and another on the stopwatch.

And what’s the endgame?

A three-man race to State House: money, military, and memory.

One says “Agenda 2030,” the other says “let’s defend the nation,” and the third screams “let’s follow the constitution” the same one they all helped ignore.